Dear Alisa and Gina,
I have a big problem asking for help, business, support, whatever. However I usually have no trouble responding to someone who asks for my help or support. Any tips on how I can learn to reach out to others, or make requests, without feeling needy or greedy? ~ Ready, Willing and Able
I think it’s good that you have an internal mechanism in place that prevents you from asking too much. However, yours seems to be in overdrive. Don’t be afraid to ask others for whatever it is you need. Just don’t ask the same person too often. And always follow up with a thank you. ~ Gina
Not every request needs profuse thanks, many people like to help each other out, a smile is often enough thanks. Asking for help is a way to connect with others.
What have you ever heard that would lead you to think that you are asking for too much? How would you know? If you enjoy responding, don’t you think that someone else might get some pleasure too? Making a request of someone usually means that you trust them to come through for you or you acknowledge that they might know something that you don’t. Are you afraid you will be rebuffed? Do you think you have to be strong for everyone else? Think about what you fear; it may just be an old survival habit that instead of keeping you afloat is actually bringing you down. ~ Alisa
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This problem really resonated with me. I agree that it is often hard to ask for help and that sometimes makes us feel that we can's ask others. But I love the self reflective advice here, how do you know if you have asked too much at all? That is something to consider if you think you are going back to the well too often. Perhaps another question could be. Am I asking too much of you for help on (fill in the blank) and if this is too much, don't hesitate to tell me...
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