Taxi Fair

Dear Alisa and Gina,

I recently moved to an apartment that’s about 40 blocks from work. Occasionally, when I work late, I take a taxi home. A co-worker who’s also sort of a work friend, lives along the way. When we both work late, she seems to go out of her way to try to leave with me so that we can share the cab. The problem is she doesn’t think she has an obligation to pay for any of the fare. She’s told me that, since I’m going her way anyway, it doesn’t cost any more to drop her off.

I feel taken advantage of, but I’m not sure why. Technically she’s right, It doesn’t really cost more to stop the cab for 10 seconds to drop her off. But sometimes when there’s traffic, the cab driver can’t choose a different route because we have to drop her off. And truthfully, if I’m paying the way, I’d like the cab to myself occasionally.

So what do you think? Am I being small minded? Should I bite the bullet and just let her come along? Or should I insist that she pay and risk our work relationship? I’m very interested in your opinion. — Taken for a Ride

I think this is bugging you because you would never, ever do that to someone. So you can’t understand why someone thinks it’s O.K. to do to you. And yes, she’s technically right — it doesn’t cost more to drop her off along the way. And yes, you’re right; since you’re paying you’re entitled to have the cab to yourself. And yes, it’s better for the environment to share the cab. Oh man, this is complicated. So since there’s no right or wrong, just tell her that if you’re going to share the cab you want to share the fare. Relationships are about give and take. She’s got the take part down perfectly. Wake her up to the giving aspect.~ Gina

Gina is right about relationships — but the part you need to focus on right now is what you want. So what do you want? Is it more important to get the money or have a good friend at work? Is time alone something that’s really important to you? Figure it out and then have a conversation — early in the day, not when you’re about to leave work. Tell your friend what you need. Perhaps something like, sometimes I just need some time alone after a long day at work. Propose a solution or ask her to help you come up with something. Things are rarely black and white — so find out what she’s thinking, too. ~ Alisa