Friends in High Places

Dear Alisa and Gina,

I have an old friend who is sort of famous, not rock star or Hollywood famous, but easily recognized. I have another newer friend who would really, really like to meet this friend - to talk about who knows what. Getting work, getting an autograph. I don’t want to know. But I know she hounds me all the time about meeting my famous friend. I feel very uncomfortable about inviting the second friend to a party or anything where the famous friend is going to be. But they’re both good friends of mine. And now, with a special occasion (my son’s bar mitzvah) coming up - I’d really like to invite both friends - but I’m afraid non-famous friend will end up bothering famous friend. Any suggestions? ~ Friend of Semi-Famous

Tell non-famous friend that you will have a bodyguard ready to shoot a tranquilizer dart at her if she comes within 50 feet of famous friend. Then make her sign a waiver absolving you of all liabilities and promising not to approach famous friend. If she won’t sign, don’t invite her. On second thought, just don’t invite her - if she’s that pushy you don’t need her there. It will be one less thing to worry about. ~ Gina

It’s time to speak up clearly about what your concerns are. If you haven’t ever mentioned how much your new friend’s attitude to your “famous” friend bothers you this would be your time. Your situation is not uncommon, mostly we try to avoid conversations that might be uncomfortable by ignoring the ongoing discomfort we feel at what is already happening. Your family’s big celebration is your time – and in order to prepare for that event, you need to make your needs clear. ~Alisa