Clean Up Your Act

Dear Alisa and Gina,

 I used to use a local dry cleaner who was nice and did a good job - but always asked me personal questions, like how much my house cost, how much my son’s tuition is, what my husband does for a living. I found these questions kind of annoying and found a different dry cleaner who is much more polite. Anyway, I just ran into the old dry cleaner this morning on the street, and she asked me point blank why I don’t use her anymore. I didn’t know what to say. All I could come up with was some lame excuse how I didn’t do much dry cleaning any more. She looked away (probably knew I was lying) and walked off. It was really uncomfortable. Though it’s already over I was wondering if you could suggest something I could have said. ~ Feeling Awkward in Armonk

I guess my question to you is why is it so hard to speak up for what concerns you? Your discomfort about her questions is legitimate, not something to be ashamed of. And as such you just need to take a deep breath and after you give yourself permission to have your feelings, let her know that you like her, and that she does good work, but her personal questions are unbearable. You will be doing her a favor. And yourself as well. ~ Alisa

Awww - she misses you. That’s sweet. But actually, this woman sounds like a bit of a loose cannon. I mean, to confront you on the street? No wonder you don’t use her anymore. I agree with Alisa - you could have told her that personal questions made you uncomfortable. It would have been a hard pill for her to swallow - but at least she’d have an answer. ~ Gina