Oh Baby

Dear Alisa and Gina,

My husband’s daughter from a previous marriage had her first baby last August. My husband bought a baby food processor for a gift and never sent it. (His daughter lives on the other coast.) In December, I suggested he take the gift to the UPS store and have it wrapped and shipped. I even offered to do it. He said he would take care of it. Having been married to him for the past 15+ years, I was skeptical but said nothing. The box disappeared and I thought it had been sent. Last week I found the baby’s gift hidden. At this point the food processor is useless. However, my husband’s nephew had a baby in March. Should I suggest he give the gift to his nephew and purchase something else for his granddaughter’s first birthday? I don’t know what he may have told his daughter. ~ Concerned Stepmom

You appear to know your husband as well (or better) than he knows himself. Though you want to fix things, I get the strong sense that your energy is best spent elsewhere. ~ Alisa

There's more to this question that meets the eye. Does your husband have a good relationship with his daughter? Is he just bad with details? Or was he trying to send her a message? OK - if I were you, I'd feel guilty that my husband didn't send his daughter a gift in a timely fashion. (Because that's how I am.) I say, if you want to send your stepdaughter a gift - you should. Just make sure to let your husband know. ~ Gina