Brotherly Unlove

Dear Alisa and Gina,

My brother who is generally very loving and supportive to his family is very nasty to his wife. I often say something and try to turn it back to him in a humorous way. I love his wife and have asked her if she’s ok, but I don’t know if I should intervene any more. What should I be saying to him? ~ Sis

If your brother’s behavior makes you unhappy or uncomfortable than I think you owe it to yourself to say something to let him know that you don’t think he’s funny. I fear that by asking your sister-in-law if she’s OK you’re colluding with him and “protecting” the aggressor. ~ Alisa

Hmmm, your brother is loving and supportive - but nasty to his wife? In front of you? So maybe he's trying to tell you something. Don't ask your sister-in-law if she's OK, ask your brother if he's OK. He might need to talk. ~ Gina