How Boor-ing

Dear Alisa and Gina,

I belong to an online business networking group. Recently an old co-worker contacted me through the network and invited me to get connected. I don’t have good memories of this person - he was kind of a jerk. However, that was years ago, and I don’t want to appear to be carrying a grudge by not accepting his invitation. Should I just accept? Or ignore him? ~ Bothered by the Boor

If you have to ask about it you probably don’t want to accept. Just ignore him. No one will know. ~ Gina

Our lives are very transparent thanks to the numerous social networking tools that can pool lists of potential previous colleagues, classmates or neighbors. But just because you’ve been contacted doesn’t mean you have to respond. Once you are clear within yourself about the connections you want to cultivate or renew, you can establish the boundaries you need.  As Robert Frost said, good fences make good neighbors. ~ Alisa