Small Salad and a Glass of Water

Dear Alisa and Gina,

Every few months I get together with some women friends for dinner.  We have been doing this for years. There are a few restaurants that we choose from to go to which are all casual and reasonably priced. We always split the bill up evenly among us and that has always seemed to work.

Recently we went to dinner at one of our regular places and the prices had gone up which was not surprising, I sat next to one woman who was very preoccupied by the prices on the menu and seemed to be making her choices based on what items were the least expensive.

When the bill came we split it up like we usually do, and she began making comments about how her meal couldn't possibly have cost that much. She was not directing her comments directly at any one of us, just kind of mumbling, but a few of us heard it. We could see that she was clearly annoyed. This has never happened before.  It seems kind of petty to ask for 7 or 8 separate checks but I am not sure what else to do.  Any ideas?  Thanks. ~ Just wondering

This economy is really bumming out a lot of people - and no wonder. Well, you could bring a calculator and offer to figure out each person’s total. (Which is like a total pain.) But it’s really up to the person who’s mumbling to stop mumbling and start speaking up for herself. If you’re good friends with her why not encourage her to do so? Or suggest a potluck for next time. As they say in England, it’s cheap and cheerful. (I have a great chili recipe you could have.) ~ Gina

If you’re going to change your approach to a situation that you’ve participated in before, you need to be clear with everyone about what’s changed. It sounds like your friend had a new story about her financial situation and her willingness to split expenses, but she didn’t come out and just let everyone know where she is. The best thing you can do as a friend is to let her know it’s ok to speak up, and it's necessary too. ~ Alisa