Meet the Parents?

Dear Alisa and Gina,

My 15-year-old daughter wants to attend a sleepover at the home of a new friend. We don’t know the girl's parents. I feel it’s important to meet the parents and find out if they will be home the weekend of the sleepover. When I expressed my concern, my daughter accused me of not trusting her. How do I talk about this? – Careful Mom

It’s very difficult to find the right balance between believing in our children’s basic goodness and not wanting to be blind to potential issues. I suggest you consider what your fears are and what your biggest concern is. If you can focus on your genuine concern for your daughter’s safety, express it honestly, and include a reasonable request (no threat) about wanting to meet the new friend’s parents, I believe you will have a good starting place for a conversation. ~ Alisa

Q: “How do you know your teenager’s lying? A: Her lips are moving.” Of course you don’t trust your teenager. Of course you’re worried. You were a teenager. And probably during the crazy, wild 70s when lying to your parents was a requirement of adolescence. So call the parents. And tell your daughter it’s because of how much you love her. ~ Gina