Ms. Nomer

Dear Alisa and Gina,

I married a number of years ago, but still kept my maiden name. However, my father addresses cards and letters to me as “Mrs. (my husband’s last name) rather than Ms. (my last name.) My dad knows that women don’t always change their names, and he’s actually quite accepting about it. But for some reason, he gets traditional when it comes to me. (I’m his only daughter.) Should I say something? ~ Ms. One-and-Only Name

I think it’s worth it to have a conversation with your father. Explain to him that you made a decision not to change your name, you made that choice for some reasons and you need him to respect your decision.  If you directly bring up the topic you can voice your concerns and have the chance to meet your father in a new way and maybe learn something about him too.  ~ Alisa

Instead of calling him Dad,  call him Mr. (your Mom’s maiden name). ~ Gina