Clearing the Air

Dear Alisa and Gina,

I have a best friend who smokes. I’ve asked him to quit many time and he says he will but he doesn’t. I am really worried about him getting cancer, and I want him to stop. What should I say now? ~ Sick of the Smoke

Say nothing. Send him greeting cards with pictures of diseased lungs. If he tells you he’s upset or offended, tell him that makes you even. ~ Gina

I think you need to consider what’s important to you. If you are more concerned about the smoking, I suggest you have a conversation to share that feeling with your friend and also your decision to make a change in your behavior. For instance, would you be willing to say: “I care about you so much, that I will not see you if you don’t try to stop smoking.” And then you’d would have to be willing to follow through. Often when we say what we want but don’t change our behavior, it can diminish the power of our words. ~ Alisa