Cousin Quandry

Dear Alisa and Gina,

 I recently bought a home and hired my cousin as my mortgage broker. A few weeks before closing on the property, my cousin left the mortgage company without letting me know and without making sure my mortgage would be complete in time for my closing. I couldn’t reach my cousin by phone or e-mail. I had to switch at the last minute to a new mortgage broker – and everything is OK – thank goodness. My problem is, I am going to see my cousin at holidays and at family get-togethers. Should I say something to try to preserve the relationship?

Confused

Using family members for business transactions can be like dating someone in your building. When it doesn’t work out, there’s nowhere to hide. Leave it up to your cousin to try to preserve the relationship. And next time, hire outside the family. ~ Gina

Just one more area when the holiday season can carry all sorts of additional burdens. You have an issue with your cousin and you probably will continue to carry that around until you say something about how you were treated. This doesn’t mean you have to have a big argument or call your cousin names. You may be able to make it clear that your closing had a lot of drama, in no small part because you had to scramble to get a mortgage to avoid penalties. You’ll probably be able to gauge how uncomfortable or oblivious your cousin is pretty quickly and if you still want to have a relationship mention how the closing went and say you were disappointed. Next time you hire anyone make sure you check references thoroughly. Even when it’s family; especially when it’s family. ~ Alisa