Home Alone

Dear Alisa and Gina,

One afternoon last week I ran into a woman at the supermarket who I know because our older children are in the same school. When I asked how her children were she told me that they were home alone while she was running errands. Her kids are only seven and four! She must have seen the look of surprise on my face, because she said the seven year old is very responsible and she was only gone for half an hour or so. The only thing I said was, “Well, I’m sure you’ll want to hurry home to make sure they’re OK.” Should I have said something else? Or reported her? ~ Horrified

I think your response clearly indicated where you stand. We are not responsible for everything we see and we are not always correct. Without finding out a lot more about how often this happens, how mature the 7 year old really is, why she feels the need to run out etc, you can’t be sure what her motivations are and all you know for sure is that you wouldn’t do the same thing, probably. (And I’m wondering, who would you have reported her to?) ~ Alisa

I never fail to be shocked and amazed (and a little sick to my stomach) when I hear stories like these. I’ve seen babies left in cars, heard about children left home alone, and even though these stories get a lot of press – people still don’t heed the warnings. When I was about 10 years old and was left alone one evening with my 12 year old brother, he accidentally set his hands on fire by playing with lighter fluid and a faulty cigarette lighter. I had to put out the fire on his hands. (You know, now that I think about it, he owes me big time. And so do my parents.) Anyway, after reading this question, I went to the Web site for Child Protective Services for New Jersey to learn what constitutes neglect, endangerment, etc. It was very enlightening. You might want to do the same. ~ Gina