Entangled

Dear Alisa and Gina,
My entire family has used the same hairdresser, Geri, for years. She has become a sort of friend of the family. Recently she moved her business to a new space and is no longer working for another owner. I’ve always heard that you don’t tip the owner, just the employees. But we’ve always tipped Geri - and I have continued to tip her, but would like to stop. How do I bring this up? I don’t want to insult or offend her, but she’s no longer being paid a salary and she’s raised her rates. ~ Caught in a Bind



I think the best way to deal with your issue is to speak up. Would it be possible for you to start off by saying, “Over the past few months I’ve gotten uncomfortable about the fact that we are still tipping you even though you own your own business. What are your thoughts on this?” In this way you can actually have an exchange and through that perhaps even build your relationship. By being open about the outcome you allow for a different kind of conversation. You may be surprised by what you hear. ~ Alisa

If you don’t want to tip her anymore, don’t. Just stop. But be warned - because you continued to tip her after she opened her own place you set a precedent, and she may wonder why you’re stopping now. Alisa thinks you should start a conversation - and if that feels comfortable for you - go ahead. But I say wait until she says something to you. Then you can explain how you feel. (Damn, wouldn’t it have been nice if she just declined the tips from the git go? If only people would just be more considerate.) ~ Gina