If the Apartment's A-rockin', Should I Come A-knockin'?

Dear Gina and Alisa,

Here's an awkward question for you...

I share a bedroom wall with my neighbor across the hall. We are only very slightly acquainted from hallway meetings, but I feel I know far too much about her based on the noises that make their way into my bedroom in the wee hours of the morning. She's a big girl, and very, very active.

I don't begrudge anyone their morning aerobic activity, but I do mind being shaken awake in the morning by the violent tremors of their sexual enthusiasm. I tried moving my bed away from the wall, but my entire bedroom shakes.

How do I approach her about this without sounding like a whining prude? ~ Shaken Awake

 You bring up an interesting topic and one that’s actually not so rare to apartment dwellers. I think you may be doing your neighbor a favor by letting her know that her apartment isn’t quite sound and shake proof. The question seems to be how to do it without making you too uncomfortable. If the apartment is so permeable, have you overheard anything else? If so, you can bring that up in conversation, to let her know how much you hear.

Also, you need to consider what you hope to accomplish. Do you think she’s going to change her habits? If not, what can you live with?  If you can’t live with her as a neighbor, ask your landlord if there’s another apartment available in the building.~Alisa

I grew up in an apartment in New York City, and we used the “bang-the-broomstick-against-the-wall” method. I think one good bang deserves another, don’t you? And if that doesn’t work, tell your landlord. The way I look at it: since you pay the bucks, it’s OK to pass them once in a while.~ Gina