Four's a Crowd

Dear Alisa and Gina,

An ex-client of mine, who has the potential to be a future client, wants to have dinner with her husband, my husband, and me. My husband refuses to go, and I also have no interest in socializing with them. How do I say no without insulting her, and without wrecking my business relationship with her? ~ Stuck in the Middle

I’ve dealt with this myself. Say “How about you and I do lunch, instead, and talk about our husbands.” During lunch, tell her that your husband’s not a social butterfly. She’ll get the message – and you’ll get out of a tight spot gracefully. ~ Gina

I think it’s perfectly reasonable to let your client know that your husband doesn’t like to have dinners with your clients. And it would also be quite alright for you to say that your schedule for dinners is very complex and that lunch works better. I think what’s key here is that you don’t build this into something that it isn’t. You are the one who believes you might insult her; it’s important to realize that this is your story. ~ Alisa